E3 2019 – Nintendo Roundup

Casually dropping a new Zelda like it ain’t nothing…

E3 is a mad, mad time, isn’t it? Publishers seem to be handling the madness in different ways these days, with some aiming for a live show for attendees, while others drop their game release bombshells in the form of a pre-prepared video (probably to avoid any screeching whacko’s, amirite Bethesda?)

One company has been doing the pre-prepared video successfully for years, however, and that’s good old Nintendo. The presentation returned for E3 2019 with some fresh faces and big surprises. Instead of spending an eternity on detailing minutae changes to the Smash Bros roster, this 40 minute presentation dropped trailer after trailer for upcoming game releases both known and unknown.

Dragon Quest Double Whammy

As well as the news that The Hero from Dragon Quest will be hitting Smash Bros as a DLC character, something that’s been rumoured for months now, we also got the news that Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age would be coming to Switch on December 27th. Fans of ridiculously long JRPG’s rejoice!

The Name’s Bowser…

In a skit that our Kieran kind of predicted (thankfully the only thing he predicted) in his E3 Leaks article last week, new Nintendo of America head Doug Bowser made his Direct debut with a gag about his name, as he politely asked ACTUAL Bowser to sling his hook.

Rise of Gooigi

We finally got a look at Luigi’s Mansion 3, with all its new gadgets and hotel setting, discovering all about its 8 player co-op challenge mode and new character, Gooigi, a slimy clone of the green plumber that can be controlled solo and in co-op, and has now given porn parody producers some golden new material to work with. Luigi’s Mansion 3 is coming (no pun intended) at some point in 2019.

Grimdark Muppets

Tying in with Netflix’s upcoming series, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance – Tactics is a turn based Final Fantasy Tactics a like launching at some point in 2019. It looks fine, playing from an isometric viewpoint pitting Gelflings against Skeksis as they battle on the planet Thra for control of the Dark Crystal. If that last sentence meant nothing to you you’re either very young or dead inside.

Super Zelda Maker

We got some more footage of the upcoming Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening remake on Switch, a game that takes what is objectively the best Zelda game ever and gives it a 3D sheen, complete with adorable graphics and a new dungeon creation mode. Sharpen your Master Swords as Links Awakening hits on 20th September.

Mana From Heaven

In a brief trailer which literally included a young character baby talking in subtitles (“Whewe awe you going?!” – give me a break!) Trials of Mana, a 3D remake of the 1995 SNES game, was announced with an early 2020 release window. But wait! Nintendo ALSO announced the Collection of Mana for immediate eShop release, containing the first three games in the series, Final Fantasy Adventure, Secret of Mana and the original Trials of Mana. So that’s a lot of Mana you can grab right now! Go you!

Portable Boobs

They finally did it, those crazy sons of bitches. After weeks of rumours, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Complete Edition was announced for Nintendo’s little hybrid machine, letting you take the adventures of Geralt, complete with all its gore, violence, swearing and nudity wherever you damn well please, yes even on this train thank you very much, just tell your kids not to watch. How far we’ve come since Mortal Kombat’s censoring on the SNES. Quite how CD Projekt Red’s behemoth of a game will fit on the little console is yet to be seen but I for one am genuinely keen to give it a go.

Harry Potter and the All Out War

Nintendo’s Fire Emblem: Three Houses, a story about a group of school friends forced into combat with each other as their various nations go to war, will be in peoples hands next month; July 26th to be exact! Expect a whole bunch of melodramatic anime cutscenes and tactical combat action when that hits.

The Ones No One Really Likes

Capcom will be bringing Resident Evil 5 + 6 to the Switch in Fall 2019, meaning you’ll soon be able to play NEARLY the entirety of their classic survival horror series on the go (we’re still missing Resi’s 2, 3 + 7). No pricing was given, but expect to see the same ludicrous £30 a pop tag that was slapped on the last few re-releases. Also of note is that these two are considered to be the worst games in the series, but the new addition of portable split screen play may entice folks to take a look.

Touchdown!

Despite the lukewarm reception to Travis Strikes Again, Suda 51 hasn’t been deterred from bringing back his anti-hero for another outing with Nintendo as the typically bonkers looking No More Heroes 3 was announced for a 2020 release. Expect plenty of OTT action and dick jokes when that hits.

What Eats Shoots and Leaves?

Another surprise show was a Contra double whammy from Konami, with the announcement of a new 4 player action game in the form of Contra: Rogue Corps coming this September, and the immediate release of the Contra Anniversary Collection, 10 classic hard as nails titles, on the Switch eShop. And yes, that title is correct – Rogue Corps has got a panda in it and that panda has a gun (yes, I know that’s not the point of the joke!)

Totally Not Armored Core

“Fine,” said someone in Nintendo, maybe “If FromSoftware don’t want to do another Armored Core game then we will!” Cue Daemon X Machina, releasing this September. A brief demo for this hit earlier this year to mixed reception, but I personally had fun with the big chunky mech action game, despite some stiff controls. Hopefully the developers at Marvelous have fine tuned things since then as this had some promising looking anime stylings with deep customisation options.

How To Remake Your Dragon

In another “Wait, what?!” moment, Sega announced a remake of classic on-rails shooter Panzer Dragoon. It’s got a fresh, shiny coat of paint and is due to hit sometime this winter.

Pokemoan

Yadda, yadda, something, something Pokemon. Despite having a Direct dedicated to it a couple of weeks back, Pokemon Sword & Shield got another showing here with the confirmation that you can use the Pokeball controller from Pokemon Let’s Go as a device to take your Pokemon out for a walk with you, helping them to level up.

Is This Cyberpunk?!

Said a few people, probably. But it wasn’t. It was Platinum’s Astral Chain, back for another showing after its last brief announcement, with some tasty looking action gameplay and a release date of August 30th. Definitely one to watch.

Write The Theme Tune, Sing The Theme Tune

Another surprise announcement was 1930’s gangster sim, Empire of Sin, releasing Spring 2020 from Romero Games, the company founded by the one and only John Romero, creator of Doom and… um… Daikatana. As a bonus this one bought it’s own jaunty theme song. Which was nice.

Mr Stark, I Don’t Feel So Good…

Try and stop Thanos the Mad Titan and his silly overpowered finger snaps when Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 hits on July 19th! Fingers crossed that this bonkers looking Marvel crossover delivers on the action it promises.

Moves Like Zelda

The adorable looking Crypt of the Necrodancer spin off, Cadence of Hyrule got a release date of 13th June, which means it’s probably out as you’re reading this so you should maybe go get it on the eShop because did we mention it looked adorable?

The Hedgehog Has An Unfair Advantage

With the Olympics in Tokyo next year, Nintendo have decided to dust off their dormant Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games series for a new outing on Switch. These are always fun little mini-game collections that are ideal for kids and parties, but has no one considered how unfair it is that Sonic, literally one of the fastest videogame characters, is obviously not pushing himself in these games? Maybe someone made like Tonya Harding and arranged for one of his legs to be broken. I bet it was Luigi.

Tom Nook Is A Crook

Finally we got a look at the new Animal Crossing! This one’s called Animal Crossing: New Horizons and has you being dropped onto a deserted island with 99 other players, crafting your own weapons and shelter and murdering your opponents until one remains. Some of that may have been a lie, but there is an island motif to this one and a suggestion of possible multiplayer elements. We’ll have to wait til 2020 to see, though, as Nintendo have pushed what was once a 2019 release back a year.

SO MANY GAMES!

In a (not so) final whammy, the big N showcased some of the other games hitting Switch:

• Spyro Reignited Trilogy, September 3rd
• Hollow Knight: Silksong, Coming Soon
• Ni-No-Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch, September 20th
• Minecraft Dungeons, Spring 2020
• The Elder Scrolls: Blades, Fall 2019
• My Friend Pedro, June 20th
• Doom Eternal, Coming Soon
• The Sinking City, Fall 2019
• Wolfenstein Youngblood, July 26th
• Dead By Daylight, September 24th
• Alien Isolation, 2019
• Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles S: Remastered Edition, Winter 2019
• Dragon Quest Builders 2, July 12th
• Stranger Things 3: The Game, July 4th
• Just Dance 2020, November 5th
• Catan, June 20th
• Super Lucky’s Tale, Fall 2019
• Dauntless, Late 2019
• Super Mario Maker 2, June 28th

The Bird And The Bear

Yep, Banjo & Kazooie are coming to Smash Bros! In a clever little ruse that fooled viewer into thinking the Duck Hunt Dog was pulling the wool over our eyes (oh Nintendo, you cards!) Rare’s long missing mascots are back on Nintendo machines. Who knows, maybe this will lead to a remaster/reissue of the N64 classics or even a new game? Nintendo seem quite chummy with Microsoft these days, so anything could be possible.

Just One More Thing…

As always, Ninty went full Collumbo and saved the megaton for last. And what a megaton it was, with a genuinely creepy little trailer revealing a direct sequel to Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild! Zelda and Link trek through some kind of underground city before stumbling on a dessicated corpse shrouded in some weird gunk, all while an unsettling rendition of the classic Zelda found item tune plays – and then the corpse looks at the camera, its eyes glowing red! All young Zelda fans immediately wet their underwear and ask their parents to sell their Switch because they’re certain it’s now possessed. It’s as bold a move as the first Breath of the Wild trailer, setting the mood for what appears to be a new direction for the series tonally. No name or release date was revealed, but the hype train has officially started its engine on that one.

And there we have it! Another E3 direct, possibly Nintendo’s most succinct to date with a ton of reveals. The sheer number of 2019 release dates are also promising, with some very meaty content coming out on Switch to satiate all gaming appetites. Get stuck in!